What am I supposed to do when I walk past someone on the sidewalk/footpath? Have you ever had that moment when you saw someone walking the opposite way you were going from a really far away distance? It's terrible. Where are you supposed to look when you know you are both going to eventually meet? I try looking to my right but there is only a boring house which he will know I am not interested in. I look to my left which if I am lucky has some interesting car situation going on, but more than likely does not. I try looking at him/her/them but then I feel like I am looking for a fight. I try the ground but that says "I am weak and vulnerable" and I am NOT. This person must realize that I could pose a severe threat to his life, and looking at the ground while he passes me is not going to help convey that thought. So where do I look? My innate sense of curiosity tells me to look at the person as he passes because I want to know what he looks like and judge them/what sort of threat he poses. So what is normally done in this situation?
Today I started to giggle right in the middle of passing someone because I was so awkward and then I felt weird just laughing to myself down the street. Then on my way home I passed several boys who eventually made really awkward noises and I was really close to threatening their lives, but I refrained. What's a girl to do? Honestly...
A little lot bit drunk..........
lay em out and kick some tail. or i might just hafta jump the lake between the u.s. to austrialia and kick some tail for ya lol. xp
ReplyDeleteParagraph 1
ReplyDeleteSmile - its what you, me , almost the world, but not better than us can do. Smiles bring out the best in people it shows a sense of softness but also a fear of "does she really smile or is it a ploy to bestow some awfulness on me" Regardless kindness kills
Paragraph 2
dont let the haters play the game - let the stephs play the haters
Stement 3
Me too
JDP OUT
In situations such as this I refer to the Awkward Situation Survival (ASS) Handbook. Particularly in your case, refer to Rule #378458.21848 – How to walk on sidewalks (I know they call them footpaths there but that’s retarded and I refuse to do it, same rules apply, SPEAK AMERICAN!). I understand that it’s already a stressful situation because those mofo’s didn’t get the memo and all walk on the wrong side of the sidewalk anyways but there are tricks to overcome obstacles such as these and appear “normal”. Step Uno – Place one foot in front of the other and avoid large cracks and holes that could potentially have you plunging to your death. Step 2 – Bring protection! I personally like to keep a brick in my purse but there are many options such as a crossbow, spear, hand grenade, I would suggest a gun but I hear they don’t “allow” those there which is another memo they didn’t read (shaking head) I guess it makes sense studies show that most criminals are illiterate, I shouldn’t be surprised. Step Third – Along with the brick/crossbow/spearhandgrenadebutsadlynoguncontraption in your purse, have a flask (from our wonderful Vegas retreat I know you own one! (ah the memories)) use it! Liquid courage is a wonderful thing and it has an added bonus ingredient known as fukitall. Nuff said. Step Four - When all else fails Tourette’s. It’s a known fact that the crazier you act the less ppl will mess with you. True story, Two words - Forrest Gump, One word – BADASS! Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteWOW guys, nicely said. Chris- I am totally going to try the brick scenario. I'll get a good arm workout while I'm at it. I also like the Tourettes idea. I will try that next time I feel at all threatened.
ReplyDeleteJDP- Is it the "I'm so glad to see you" smile or the "I might be crazy in my spare time" smile or the "I'm trying to pick you up, is it working?" smile?